The Perfect Figure Doesn’t Exist
Original Post Date: Mar 15, 2023
“Do I really like the image I’m chasing, or do I just like the idea of fitting in? The epiphany followed. I realized that I was conforming and I lost my desire to fit into a size 6. ”
Before we dive in, we have to acknowledge the meaning of perfection. The definition of perfection doesn’t come with a list of criteria. You can’t look at an object, person, or idea and check the necessary attributes of a list. I guess you could create your own “This is perfect” list, but you’d probably find that what deems an object as perfect doesn’t also deem a person to be perfect. Once again, exposing that there is no singular interpretation of perfection. The definition of perfection even suggests that it is a subjective concept. Google defines perfect as “having all the required or desirable elements, qualities, or characteristics; as good as it’s possible to be.” The word desirable means something different to all of us. For example, some people find pineapple on pizza to be desirable. I, on the other hand, think that those two foods should never cross paths. I digress. Now that we’ve examined this idea, let’s talk about why a perfect body doesn’t exist.
Most of my days include a routine scroll through TikTok. As I scroll, I see various videos, some that make me laugh, some that spark a new idea, some that spark controversy, and even a few that bring me to tears. On this particular day – maybe it was because I’ve recently found a blissful comfort with my own body, maybe it’s the undeniable outspokenness in me, or maybe it’s my commitment to ending cycles for the new generation. Before I speak on the topic of this video, I want to emphasize that the creator is not more at fault than the rest. We are all subjected to the fluctuating beauty standards of America.
The TikTok featured a young woman who’d received much admiration for her “coke bottle shape” and many inquiries on how she achieved this figure. Her advice was: if you want a small waist, wear a waist trainer. Immediately after watching TikTok, I ran to Twitter, the home of most of my outspokenness and opinionated offerings. I stopped as typed my second post in, what probably would be a very long thread. I thought to myself, no, I want to write about this truly.
Surprisingly, my discomfort with this TikTok’s messaging wasn’t with the advice of using a waist trainer. The depicted waist trainer looked similar to the ones many people use while exercising. I’d be a hypocrite to call her out on such a highly used product. And maybe I’m still a hypocrite because I’ve been the girl behind the screen admiring another woman’s body because my mind convinced me it was better than my own. Despite this, I’ve learned that there are better alternatives to more potentially harmful ways of reshaping your body.
That’s enough of why I saw an issue with this – here’s why we need a change.
Our society hasn’t reached equity in all areas, but we’re continuously working towards it. Unfortunately, as different topics seem to advance towards this goal, female beauty is still playing a tug of war. Thick and petite body types share turns as the desired figure. Female beauty standards are just like fashion trends. Each season there’s something new and exciting for people to obsess over. Unfortunately, women can't change their bodies at the same rate that a seamstress can sew a dress. We will continue to fail at the attempt to keep up with trends. This inability is irrelevant, though, because the motivation behind this idea is harmful. Ironically, fashion is one of the factors that lead to body insecurity. Between brand names that refuse to widen their sizing to the mind games that result from vanity sizing, women are discouraged from owning their true selves.
My body has fluctuated in size my entire life. As I entered my 20s, I was committed to loving my body and developing healthy practices to support it. I didn’t see a change in my perception of my body until I asked myself a question. Do I really like the image I’m chasing, or do I just like the idea of fitting in? The epiphany followed. I realized that I was conforming and I lost my desire to fit into a size 6. This realization altered my standard of beauty. It transformed from a specific body type to a feeling. My perfect figure became whatever body I felt the most beautiful in. It was the first time I didn’t feel pressured to fit a certain size.
My last motivation to dissolve the idea of perfection is the future generation. As a woman that is fortunate to be in the lives of beautiful young women who will soon (some already have) be subjected to the ever-changing standard, it becomes harder to sit back and not say anything. To be honest, I’m saddened to see that young girls strive to look like women a decade older than them. More and more, I witness women turning to plastic surgery at a young age. This isn’t a space to judge those who partake, but I wish we had more environments that celebrated natural bodies. I want to work to create a society that recognizes the beauty of diversity.
Whew! We’ve made it to the end of this post, but this is just the start of the conversation. This issue has been prevalent for 100s of years. One that’s affected by culture, age, and media. As we continue to find ways to create confidence, I have a few words to leave you with.
My hope is that all girls can find admiration for their natural bodies, no matter what category they fit in. Thick, thin, short, or tall. I commend the body positivity activists, content creators, and public figures who preach this consistently. I push those in the limelight to foster transparency and begin to promote this message. I want you to know that you won’t always be surrounded by people who look like you or even people who like your appearance. When these situations occur, be the one who likes your body. Don't let it be a barrier to participating in everything you want to do. Take it from your friend, who has walked the path (still walking). I wish that I had been kinder to myself. I’ve realized that the beauty of diversity lies in the very definition. The difference. Stop comparing yourself to others you deem prettier, sexier, or better than you. Celebrate them and celebrate you too.
Here are a few journal prompts and practices that you can use to implement body positivity.
Journal Prompts
What’s your favorite part of your body?
What’s one feature on your body that you find to be unique?
Write a letter to your body and show your appreciation for it.
I can do__ to treat my body better?
Create a list of affirmations to repeat when you may not feel the best about your body.
Practices
Take a break from social media.
Monitor negative self-talk and how you refer to your body.
Practice your body image affirmations in the mirror.
Distance yourself from scales and measuring tapes -- that number doesn't define you.
Slowly add clothing items that you may have previously avoided.
With Love,
Allie
Song of the Post:
This week's SOP is the perfect match-up. Listen as India Arie expresses her self - love and celebrates her uniqueness.
