Letter 03: Dear Wash Day
Original Post Date: Mar 29, 2023
“The love I’ve begun to feel offsets the dirty bathrooms and tired arms. I observe my reflection and smile as I admire my curls. So beautiful, so unique. So wash day, no, I don’t dread you. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to pour into myself. ”
Wash day acts as a universal experience for Black Women. Whether you wear your natural coils, just put in some braids, or settled on a sew-in, wash day is inevitable. The practice can be lengthy and annoying. But what if we looked at the perks of wash day instead of trying to rush past it?
Dear Wash Day,
Oh, wash day. The hours and energy I’ve poured into you. As a little girl, I didn’t mind you. I’d stick my head in the sink as my mom lathered the Just for Me shampoo. Closing my eyes to avoid the suds and laughing as the water dripped down my chin.
Over the next decade, I’d grow a sore spot for you. When I committed to growing healthy natural hair, you became more complex. Perms had saved me from your stressors. But now you’d become a 5-step process that consumed my entire day if not multiple days. For the next 5 or 6 years, I’d prepare for Sunday. My arms grew tired as I sectioned and detangled my fine curls. I’d stand and feel as the water grew colder (and I listened as my mom realized that the hot water was out). The deep conditioning stage became the highlight; it softened my hair and gave me a second to rest. Still, I sat under my steamer and counted down the remaining phases. Growing irritable as I remembered, I still had to style my hair. Eventually, I’d make it to my bed. Somedays, there was no relief as Flexi rods and bobby pins poked my scalp. Whew, you sure know how to wear a sister out.
Some days, I tried my hardest to ignore you as I grabbed my hard bristle brush to slick my hair down. On other weeks I’d wake up on Sunday, look in the mirror, and remember that the regularly scheduled program was on hiatus. Knotless braids became a great tool to help avoid you. I live in bliss and enjoy my extra time. But then the ultimate version of you arrived…the post-protective style wash day. We’d remain in the cycle until I entered my 20s. We eventually started to grow fond of each other. I say this because as I learned to appreciate you, you helped me flourish.
College offers a lot, but free time is rarely one of the benefits. As a serial worker, I need peaceful activities that fully consume me. My desire for peace highlighted the benefits in you. During my week full of fast-paced motions, you arrived with an opportunity for self-care. You don’t offer much room for multitasking. I can’t necessarily type a paper and detangle simultaneously. I can turn on my favorite R&B playlist, light my favorite scents, and even work in some added skincare to this self-care day. That’s what I love most about you. Now when the hot water pours onto my scalp and soaks my curls, I notice the feeling of tranquility.
As Black women, our hair is so important. It’s crucial to our confidence and self-esteem. During my childhood, I dreaded you and any hassle you brought. As a woman, I see the essentialness in you. I recognize the necessity of taking time for myself. The love I’ve begun to feel offsets the dirty bathrooms and tired arms. I observe my reflection and smile as I admire my curls. So beautiful, so unique. So wash day, no, I don’t dread you. I thank you for giving me the opportunity to pour into myself.
Some days I questioned your placement in other cultures and wondered why my hair required this attention. But I realized how uniquely paired you are with black women. Instead of deeming you as punishment, I saw the blessing in a routine, like you. I saw the blessing that is my hair. As an extension of my being, my curls and coils deserve extensive care. You visit again and again, and every time I grow more fond of you.
With Love,
Allie
Song of the Post:
I promise that Solange won’t fill every SOP, but “Don’t Touch My Hair” was the obvious pick this week. Knowles highlights boundaries for black women and our hair, as well as sharing its importance. It also happens to be one of my favorites on my wash day playlist.
