"Give Me A Break": The Frustrations of Being Black At A PWI.
Original Post Date: Mar 1, 2023
“Brown v. Board of Education happened in 1954. We’re approaching the 70-yr anniversary, but have we really reached equity if black students can’t feel comfortable in their skin in school?”
“Get into groups of 4 or 5 and discuss.”
Ughh. Who knew such a simple and routine request could cause so much dread? Who am I going to work with? Are any of my friends in the class? Is there anyone in here who even looks like me? Can’t we just work alone? As I approach the group of strangers, I know I'll be code-switching in just a few seconds.
The 21st century has shifted the idea of being black at a predominately white institution or PWI. Let's take it back about 60 years. Desegregation in schools is fresh and the pride of the black community is at an all-time high. One more step closer to equality. Back in the time machine, we go. In 2023, being black in a PWI is a frequent occurrence. Although, to say that we’ve reached equality is a stretch.
Our community has reached a point of success that allows us to enter spaces that our ancestors would’ve never considered. The broken barriers allow us to congregate with other cultures and witness the benefits. Despite the achievement, a whole list of troubles and annoyances result from being black in a PWI. The worst part about it is there is little room to complain. Now, don’t get confused, there have been times when I let my tongue loose. It would be out of my character to stay tight-lipped. But other times I hold it, in fear of what would happen next. Is this going to turn into a whole thing? Am I going to suffer from discrimination at work if I speak out? Will I be deemed an angry black woman?
The List
As a young black woman with an academic career full of PWIs, I’ve racked up quite a few moments that have sparked an eye roll. If you’re another black person or a person of color, then I’m sure you’ll enjoy an excerpt from my “People are getting on my F!$%ING nerves today” list.
That time a guest speaker called the significance of black advancement in the MLB… “The black thing”
The time someone asked me if black people could have blonde hair
When non-black people use AAVE and it's obvious that it is in no way shape or form a part of their vernacular.
When teachers decide that it's best that all students should say the n-word in order to preserve literary context
When the curriculum only includes literature where white women are in distress or black people are enslaved/oppressed
Hearing non-black people casually use the n-word and then proceed to look confused when you confront it
If a black professor gives white students preferential treatment.
Having to code switch, and the fact that it’s such an ingrained practice
Being the only black student in class
The shame that is projected from other black people because you attend PWI
Anytime someone asks to touch my hair or calls my hair “fun”
That time one of my group partners suggested that the best way to target minorities was to head to Greek town (and no this did not include D9 organizations)
Ok, I don’t want to bore you with every minute of irritation from the past decade, so I’ll choose to focus on a few of these experiences. Plus, I’m sure you may have your own “People are getting on my F!$%ING nerves today” list. My frustration stems from a place of sadness. Brown v. Board of Education happened in 1954. We’re approaching the 70-yr anniversary, but have we really reached equity if black students can’t feel comfortable in their skin at school? There’s a question I’ll leave you to ponder.
Let's Discuss
The code-switching Google definition reads: "the practice of alternating between two or more languages or varieties of language in conversation." It's one of my most despised facets of this ordeal. I do believe we make this shift in pursuit of fitting in, but I think it’s also a defense mechanism. Historians and psychologists who study black history tend to focus on the inherited actions from ancestors who lived during slavery and segregation. As I partake in these roles, I think: Is code-switching a defense mechanism for 21st-century black people? Consider social trends like cultural appropriation and the adoption of AAVE. Code-switching could be a tool we’re unconsciously implementing to protect our culture.
The chosen literature for the English curriculum is exhausting. I may have been in the highest-level English classes, but this didn’t equate to a diverse reading list. The plots of stories like The Scarlett Letter and Jane Eyre weren’t awful. Although, when I came to the realization that we’d only read about the struggles of white women, I felt ignored. I’ve known that the hardships of black women aren’t a priority for most. I was disappointed that my all-girls school was making no effort for all girls to feel secure. I remain confused about this strategy and hope that academia assesses their choices. How do educators intend to change the perspective of black people if they only highlight narratives about white damsels in distress, the white savior complex, or black people struggling? If there is no attention to the areas in which black people excel, how do we ever free the restraints of perceived inferiority?
This last factor saddens and disappoints me. The fact that other black individuals choose to shame their peers for choosing a PWI only widens the disconnect among us. When you attend a PWI, especially a university you’re in store for accusations. Oh, you think you’re too good for an HBCU. They must be “whitewashed”.The individuals who display their contempt may be your friends, or they may be a part of the plenty of students who choose to voice their opinions on social media. The HBCU v. PWI argument has officially entered the list of tired Twitter topics. Those from each group feel the need to criticize their counterpart's choice, in order to, defend their own. Both sides are to blame because by now we should know that all black people's selection criteria are different. How dare we condemn our peers for choosing an environment that they feel will make them successful?
This topic connects to a greater conversation. An idea that we mention, but one that we haven’t fully accepted. All black people aren’t the same. I wish black people and non-black people would understand that there isn’t a black prototype. It’s important for our community to adopt this perspective because we’d strengthen the relationship between black individuals. Alternatively, other groups need to realize it because we're entitled to self-expression, no matter what room we enter. So today, I leave you with two questions:
How can you help promote the idea of uniqueness amongst black people?
What am I doing to advance the belief that all black people have to act the same?
Take these into consideration. Then investigate your own behavior in the environments you move through. Well, this has been an introduction to a matter I hope to explore more. Talk to yall soon!
With Love,
Allie
Song of The Post:
Solange Knowles's song, Mad ft. Lil Wayne explores the angry emotions of black people. The duo is able to create a piece that's pleasing to the ear but also affirm frustrating emotions.
