The Uncomfortable Truths of 2023
Original Post Date: December 30, 2023
“Overall, I loved this year because I fell into my passion, learned, and healed. Any effort to bring me closer to the divine woman I’m destined to become is worth celebrating, even if it wasn’t a fun process. ”
We’ve arrived at the last days of the year. I’ve seen and heard plenty of discourse deeming 2023 as the worst year. I do think people are quick to let negative events overshadow the positives, but I will let them own their own experiences.
When I reflect on my last 12 months I see one of the best years of my life.
Every moment wasn’t perfect; I cried quite a bit this year. That experience in itself has brought me relief. Finding comfort in my emotional expression has allowed me to effectively move through hard times.
Overall, I loved this year because I fell into my passion, learned, and healed. Any effort to bring me closer to the divine woman I’m destined to become is worth celebrating, even if it wasn’t a fun process.
Typically, when I come to y’all I choose a softer tone. I’m not saying I’m gonna yell at you now, but we're going to get into some uncomfortable truths that you may not want to hear. It wasn’t easy for me to accept them. For some of these, I had to travel through several similar experiences to learn my lesson.
The Uncomfortable Truths
Every man isn’t terrible; every man isn’t amazing. There are good caring young men in this world but you do have to work to find them. You can't routinely claim "all niggas ain't shit" (even when it does seem like it) and expect a positive outlook. Telling yourself that may result from a victim mentality or a lack of effort in your dating life. You have to learn to move from a space of hope and positivity to find your special someone.
Making plans for the future is constructive but only after you’ve taken the time to assess what’s previously held you back from achieving them. While it could be external factors, it may be your behavior. Be intentional. But as always offer yourself grace.
Healing isn’t linear and it never ends. Various triggers highlight different traumas. What you were healing from in January could look very different by December. Learn how to find happiness during your space of growth.
Every cut-off doesn’t have to equate to hatred or even neutrality. While it will be difficult, loving from a distance is an option and it can show you the true power of your heart. As always, do this within the means of preserving your wellness.
Social media isn’t an authentic form of emotional communication. With the blurred lines of reality, you can’t expect others to know based on your posts. People aren’t mind readers. Take the time to truly connect and explain your emotions.
Insults are oftentimes a reflection of the person delivering them, not you. People insult you based on their values and priorities. Unless they’re really smart. Then they may hit your real insecurities.
You don’t have to be hard on someone to make them act right. At this age, it’s their responsibility to have their behavior reflect their intent. You are no one’s parent (unless you are) in a peer-to-peer relationship.
Your parents are humans too. If you’re lucky, they are trying. If you’re lucky, they’re actively growing to be a better parent every day. Have standards but offer them grace and communicate with them as you both grow.
Go-getters are allowed to be lazy or restful. Some of your best ideas, revelations, or creativity will come out of those moments. I’m writing this from Punta Cana, a restful trip in nature, but I’m still progressing on my to-dos.
Being single in your 20s is not the Scarlett A that you think it is. Most people aren’t looking that hard. If they are, offer them a good ole "mind your business". More importantly, your 20s should be about creating stability within yourself and creating the best memories. Not to say that that can’t be done with a partner. Just be patient and allow what is for you to come at the right time.
Don’t let gender roles and societal pressure hold you back. If you want it and feel called to it go get it. I’m telling you it’s ok to shoot your shot. It’s pretty fun. It's ok to be interested in things that aren't inherently feminine. Secondly, your responsibility is to create internal comfort in your relationships. Don’t worry about appeasing others.
Take care of your body early. Learn what vitamins work and support you. Feed your body with good nutrients. Find what exercise creates enjoyment for you. I’m not saying don’t indulge. Indulging offers happiness. The key is finding a balance and routine you can return to.
Doing it for the plot has to end at some point. I’m all for spontaneity; don’t get me wrong. However, continuing to uphold toxic behavior because “what’s the worst that can happen?” can lead to unhealthy patterns. Trust me; my plot-thickening activities left me in a watery mess of tears. Take risks, but don’t forget to think through them.
Love your body. This is one that I have to remind myself every day. Your body gets you through all of your responsibilities and still carries you at your lowest. Be nicer to the vessel that supports and helps you thrive. It is beautiful in its uniqueness.
Read that book. I love movies and TV. Binging a series when it's raining and cold outside can be so comforting. That same excitement created on a screen is often an inspiration from a written work. I love a good 3-day binge with a book. It improves your brain power. It’s also a more intentional and focus-driven activity. Lastly, seeing the magic of written stories is just downright cool.
Alright, those are some of my insights from this past year. Maybe they apply to you or maybe they don’t. The biggest takeaway I hope you leave with is intentionality. Think through your actions and make sure they align with your goals.
Well, I’ll see you next year. More lessons, more stories, and greater connections ahead. Happy New Year, friends!
With love,
Allie
