Letter 10: Dear Grad
Original Post Date: May 10, 2024
“It’s wonderful, blissful, exciting, rewarding, and bittersweet. But then there’s that glimmer of intimidation. ”
I wish I could congratulate each of you in the graduating class of 2024. A class with many members who entered college during a time of so much uncertainty. Still, we made it out. However, the questions and obstacles don’t cease. I hope this letter can offer you some reassurance and comfort as we all make a transition from college student to college graduate.
Dear Grad,
Congrats honey, you did it. Years of hard work, years of dreaming of the finish line and you’re finally here. Take those arms and hug yourself.
By now the adrenaline has probably worn off and we're all sitting in this uneasy realization that we’re no longer students. Maybe your next move is further education. Shooting for that master's degree or headed to be a part of that small percentage of black women that make up those that feature PhD at the end of their name. Nevertheless, the traditional college experience has come to a close.
It’s wonderful, blissful, exciting, rewarding, and bittersweet. But then there’s that glimmer of intimidation.
The most frequent question I’ve received, recently, is “How does it feel?”. Depending on the day and the inquirer my answers change. One of my truest responses is: It feels like I’ve went from playing a short game to a long game. For the past 16 years (give or take) there’s been a major finish line in sight. Graduation. Now the rest of our life is ahead. But what do we do with it, how do we tackle it?
Unfortunately, I don’t have the answer to any of those questions. We’re walking this road hand and hand, as we try to navigate the next set of choices and obstacles.
The same shocking actuality has hit me, every day, since walking across that stage. Always during meaningless tasks. I’m free of academic obligation. I thought I knew freedom before but this is much more satisfying. But as we know dualities are riddled through the human experience. Maybe you feel the same pressures from outside voices, as I do.
I haven’t even received my physical diploma and folks are already trying to figure out my future academic plans. I have no desire to return to school, but I live by the mantra “Never say never”. Maybe you're unsure and still deciding. Maybe your career choices offer you no option in the matter. Either way, we must forge our own path, neglecting the desires and expectations of others.
Even with the conflicting opinions between my internal thoughts and those around me, my decision is still the final one. I think that’s been one of the most difficult realizations. We are in full control now. There’s no autopilot. Up until this point, parents, society, and academic advisors have helped outline what’s expected. Now we sit in the driver's seat with keys ready to start the ignition.
Where will we go? Who will we love? How will we change? We spent years finding solutions to questions, just to be presented with more.
One thing I’ve come to know is that support is the key to making it through. It makes successes sweeter and the landing of struggles softer.
I’ve chosen the comfort of my hometown as my next destination, but some have chosen a new environment. Either way, we will find belonging. It’s inevitable. That’s the one piece of comfort I want to give you. As we grow to know and love ourselves more will be attracted to those who want to do the same.
Even with the promise of new ones to love, It’s hard to say to the places we’ve become accustomed to. We lie at the intersection of closed chapters and new beginnings. My thoughts have focused on the unfinished plots of college days but I've settled on the fact that those stories will remain unfinished, like a cliffhanger on a show. Don’t grieve the unwritten, but look at it as the end of a chapter. Chapters close, so we can explore new journeys. Together these finales and births make the story of us.
I wish we were blessed with all the answers or even a cheat sheet to guide us along the way. But we are blessed with community. Even if you haven’t found your inner circle yet, you can start here. We can help each other as we ride the road of life.
And on that note, I offer one more congratulations to you and me both. We’ve made it past another milestone and although we may not realize it, we’re already on our journey towards another.
With Love,
Allie
Song of the Post:
Frank Ocean’s music holds a deeply special place in my heart. It’s comforted me during many transitional periods. It’s been the soundtrack behind many deep internal conversations.
Ocean’s titling of this track is a perfect reminder for recent grads. Self-control will be a crucial skill as we’re presented with a host of decisions that will shape our lives. I concluded this letter with the reality that chapters come to a close. Even though I understand the need to leave eras in the past, I know the importance of holding their greatest joys and lessons with you.
